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Caregiver Issues

Donna Nichols • Apr 04, 2024

Do you care for an elder? Maybe it’s a family member like my situation. I’m caring for my 95-year-old mother who will be 96 in April. Do you ever find yourself losing it? I do. I find myself yelling at her, but then I wonder if I’m really yelling AT her or just yelling because she can’t hear well. Caregiving is HARD!!!!


If you find yourself losing it with your loved one, you’re not alone. I find myself losing it a lot more often than I used to. Here at Assisted Living Made Simple, we hold 4 Alzheimer’s/dementia caregiver support groups a month and while my mom doesn’t have Alzheimer’s, she does have bouts with dementia. I know the importance of taking time for yourself, but do I take time for myself? No, I don’t. I work 40 hours a week, go home, get her showered, dressed, fed, and sit with her until she’s ready to go to bed. In the morning, I get her out of bed, fed, dressed and ready for the day, then off to work and it starts all over again. On the weekends, she’s mine all day and night. It’s exhausting.


When my husband and I made the decision to move her in with us, everyone said they would be there to help us, but where are they now that we need them? I understand that we are all busy, but come on, we need a break! If you are a caregiver, you know what I mean. I have caregivers for my mother 3 – 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, so my husband has her the rest of the day. Luckily, she doesn’t require a lot of care, she’s still somewhat self-sufficient, but you must be there to make sure she doesn’t fall, and she can’t prepare her own meals or get her own drinks. She cannot shower by herself, and she needs standby assist while dressing; these two things she will only let me handle.


My only other option is having a caregiver come in on the weekend too, but that is pricey. And if I only want an hour or two it won’t work; most caregivers won’t come unless it’s 4 hours or more. I know I’m not alone out there; I know you are going through the same things I am. How are you coping with these issues? I’d really love to know; maybe your ideas can help me.


Do you have to separate holidays like I do? I have spent many holidays with just my mom and myself because my husband goes to his brothers with his children and our grandchildren, but that is too much for my mom, so it ends up just the two of us. This is so hard because you feel torn between the two. How do you cope with a situation like this? I try to put it out of my mind and think I will have other holidays with the grandkids, and they will be even more special.


This past Easter, my husband went to his brothers like usual, but my two nephews and their families came over and it was so nice; my mother was so happy to have her family there. We all ran around outside, while she sat there and watched us. She was so full of joy.


After they left, which wasn’t until around 7:00 p.m., I gave mom her shower and got her settled down. I went to take my shower and when I came out, she was in her chair fast asleep; she was exhausted. She got up in the morning and couldn’t stop talking about what a great Easter she had. It really is the little things that make a difference.



If you are dealing with some of the same issues I am, please give me a call and let’s chat. I’d really like to understand how you cope. Maybe we can help each other. 386-847-2322. 

New Scams for 2024

By Donna Nichols • 10 May, 2024
Some of 2023’s top scams were fake barcodes on gift cards, text messages directed at someone else, crypto refunds, fake high school sports streaming sites, out-of-stock items, I received your package, what’s your address, and many more. Let’s look at what’s new for 2024: With the wide-spread use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) comes so many more opportunities for scammers. While it is beneficial in industries such as banking, technology, marketing and entertainment, AI opens a whole new world for those who want to rip you off. Scammers have found ways to clone voices of your loved ones to use that against you. They will pull the voice of your child or grandchild to convince you they are in a crisis and need you to send money. Of course, you think it’s legitimate because it’s their voice. Here are some ways to recognize the scams: If you get a phone call from someone saying they’re your grandchild and tell you they are in trouble and need money, they may say things like please don’t tell mom or dad, or you need to hurry grandpa, or you must keep this a secret. Things like that should immediately throw a red flag. These scammers are good, they will use social media and other platforms to find out personal information about you and the person they are impersonating to be able to fool you. You need to have some kind of “code” with your grandchildren so if they are in trouble, you can ask them a certain question and if they answer it correctly, you know it’s true. They can also impersonate your children, so beware. They may come up with things like their child (your young grandchild needs an operation), or something to that effect, and they can’t afford it. They will ask you to wire them the money or ask for your bank account information. Don’t give it to them, tell them you need some time to get the information together and will get back to them. That gives you time to check the story out. Remember, if a caller pressures you to act immediately, begs you to keep it a secret, tries to scare you, asks for your personal information, asks for money in the form of a gift card, wire transfer or cash, or has specific instructions on how to transfer the money, it is probably a scam. PLEASE don’t fall prey to these scammers!! They are so good and will try every tactic in the book to take your money that you worked hard for, and they don’t care.  No one is safe from these people who don’t want to live an honest life like most of us. Our seniors are the most vulnerable and we at Assisted Living Made Simple are here to help protect you! If you have questions, please call us at 386-847-2322. If you think you have been a victim of a scam, or a potential victim, please contact your local law enforcement.

How is Mom?

By Donna Nichols • 06 May, 2024
Mother’s Day is just a few days away and do you know how your mom is? If you’re planning to spend some time with her this Sunday, please take time to check out how she’s doing. Check things like is her mail piling up, is she having a tough time getting around, is she more forgetful than she used to be? Check her medications to see if they’re being skipped, see if you can peek at her checkbook to ensure it’s not in disarray. Notice her clothes and makeup, is she as “put together” as is normal for her? Is she starting to shuffle when she walks? Are her shoes on the correct feet? Look for any signs that mom is not doing as well as she used to and living alone isn’t the safest for her any longer. Did you ever think the best gift you could give mom is moving her into an assisted living community? Mom would have care available to her when she needed it, and you wouldn’t have to worry about her as much. Assisted living communities all include three meals a day, housekeeping, laundry, utilities, and snacks. Transportation to doctor’s appointments and shopping is available at most of them with notice. Assisted living communities have common rooms, dining rooms, and most of them have salons, gyms, and lounges. They have activities during the day, so mom will have things to keep her busy. Some of them have garden areas where the residents care for the plants and have butterfly gardens as well. They celebrate the holidays, throw birthday parties, and have parties just for fun. There are so many amenities when you live in an assisted living community. Does this mean mom is “confined” to the community and cannot leave? No. You can take mom out to lunch or shopping if you want. You can even take her away with you for the weekend if you plan to do something like that. Say you wanted to take mom on a week-long vacation with you and your family, no problem, just let the staff know the dates she will be out and you’re all set.  Is there a downside to an assisted living community? Not really, unless you’re limited financially, but we at Assisted Living Made Simple may be able to help find you more money if you qualify. All you must do is make that FREE phone call today and schedule your consultation 386-847-2322. Taking care of mom is one the greatest privileges we have in this life, let’s make sure we do it well and do what’s best for her.

Preventing Falls in Seniors

By Donna Nichols • 03 May, 2024
Falling is one of the top reasons seniors go to the hospital, so what if you could take small steps to help prevent a fall before it occurs. What are some of the causes of falls for seniors and what ways can you help to stop a fall from happening? As we age mobility issues like muscle loss, balance problems, and joint stiffness begin to cause us to become susceptible to falls. We don’t want to lose our mobility because that means losing our independence. Once we can no longer walk like we used to, we cannot do anything like we used to. A lot of seniors are confined to a chair, or even worse, a bed. We need to take steps to prevent a fall before one happens to ensure they stay healthy and safe. Are you or someone you love falling more often? Even if you’re falling and not hurting yourself now, it only takes one good fall to seriously injure yourself. Falling could be a cause of mobility issues and they need to be addressed before they worsen. We all fall when we trip or stumble over something, but sometimes we fall because our feet are too slow to keep up, or they get off balance. Falling frequently can be cause for concern and can lead to injuries, and hospitalizations. Maybe you or your senior hasn’t fallen yet, that makes this the perfect time to retrofit your home with handrails, grab bars and non-slip tub mats. We want to prevent a fall before it happens. Use an elevator whenever possible, not the stairs! Stairs can be extra hard for seniors because they require more strength, balance, and energy. Find ways to avoid stairs if possible. If you find there is no way to avoid them, please walk next to your senior to give them a sense of security. Even an escalator can be scary for seniors as they require balance to step onto the escalator and concentration to stand still and to step off. Is your senior having a hard time standing up from the couch or lowering themselves onto the bed? This is an essential movement we use throughout the day; we use it to sit at the dinner table, go to the restroom, watch TV, going to bed, and so much more. If they are struggling with this simple movement, it may be time to speak with their doctor about a mobility device. How is their balance? Are they having dizzy spells? This could be a sign of vertigo, low blood pressure, or a side effect from their medication. Having a proper cane or walker will help with balance issues in seniors. Most importantly, make sure they exercise. I know this can be difficult when dealing with mobility issues, or they are afraid of falling, but regular exercise can help improve their balance and it also increases their overall health.  Exercise doesn’t have to be difficult, think of ways to make it fun! We need to work together to ensure our seniors don’t fall. Let’s prevent that hip from breaking before it has a chance!!!
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