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How Do You Help Your Parents When They Don’t Think They Need It?

Donna Nichols • December 4, 2020

When Your Parents Need Help But They Don’t Think They Do…

Here it is December and the holidays are upon us. You are planning on spending time with Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa. You arrive to find things are not what they have always been.

What do you do now?

This is a very common situation we see every day. You talk to them on the phone weekly/daily and you have no idea things are this bad. It’s amazing how they can fool us. It’s not intentional; they believe they are doing just fine.

You could be seeing confusion, lack of short-term memory, sense of being overwhelmed or burdened. Medication could be mismanaged and nutrition and hydration are minimal.

Observe: are they eating properly, taking their medication correctly, drinking water, hydrating?

Are they in a routine? Is one caring for the other?

I see this happening daily in my business; I am a senior advocate. I work with families on this unknown journey. WE take baby steps . First, get eyes in the house. There are many ways you can do that, speak with their PCP (Primary Care Physician).

Request orders for home health, physical therapy, occupational therapy, skilled nursing. It’s covered by their health insurance and it gives you a baseline to start. It helps their doctors see what’s happening as well.

If there is no reason to order home health, there are other things available.

You can start with a baby cam in the kitchen so you can observe what’s happening from that perspective. Are they eating?

I had a client that every time the daughter purchased food and put it in the refrigerator, she waited for her to leave and she cleaned it all out and threw all the food away.

She had early-stage dementia and her OCD was causing her to get rid of clutter. In her case, she had lost substantial weight and that was the first clue.

A new technology that’s available is AI (artificial intelligence). It’s nonevasive, no camera, not wearable. It works with sensors placed in the home to learn the patterns of your loved one. Once it learns their routine it can monitor falling, food intake, reduction in walking speed, wandering during the night, not getting out of bed, increased bathroom activity.

It can also monitor their heart rate in bed. The family can have an app on their phone that can alert them to issues and it can be monitored by a local home health company.

Knowledge is power, if you know the progression of your loved ones aging process you can plan for whatever comes your way. When it’s time to get a specialist involved, call a Neurologist or Cardiologist.

Do they need someone setting up their medications or need an automated dispenser? Should someone be coming in a few days a week to help? Is it time to plan for assisted living ?

All these things are now in your hands, it’s terrible but reality.

You’ve become their parent.

Breathe and realize there are people out there to help you.

One word of wisdom I must share, “YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE THE BAD GUY”!

Make the bad guy the doctor, the advocate, motor vehicle division – anyone but YOU, the person they need to know is in their corner.

If you need help or encouragement as a Caregiver give us a call at  386-847-2322  or check out our  Caregiver Support Group. Our  Senior Advisors  are here to walk with you through this journey.

Make Valentine’s Day Special for Seniors

By Donna Nichols • February 5, 2025
Valentine’s Day tends to zero in on romantic love, but what about our seniors? They too often get forgotten. We have some ways to make Valentine’s Day special for them too. Spend the day with your loved one. Spending quality time with a loved one is more important to a senior than anything else. There is no greater gift than time and please make sure you have enough, so you are not rushed. Do your elderly loved one have a favorite meal? Perhaps you can prepare it for them, or if they are able, you can prepare it together. How fun would that be for you both? Be sure to discuss the enjoyment it brought you while you are sharing the meal together. How about a game of name that love song? You could prepare a playlist of love songs from the generation and play them to see how many they get correct. Or, if you can sing, you can sing some for them and see if they can recollect them. Take some time for reminiscing, go through old photo albums, or ask about old times. Ask them about when you were young and what trouble you caused; this will give you all something to laugh (or cry) about. Has your loved one been cooped up all winter? Take them out for a nice lunch, or weather permitting, a picnic in the park. Go for coffee and a donut, then head out to see a movie. Make a “date” of it. Maybe your senior is into crafts. You can design special Valentine’s Day cards for other family members. This way your senior can express their love for them and send it to them in their own unique way. You can create other greeting cards as well. Bake some special treats together. Does your senior have some favorite cookies or cake? You could bake it together, or you can bake it for them. Then you can enjoy it after you have the meal you prepared together. Yummy, delicious!! You can watch some romantic movies together if they prefer to stay in the house or the weather isn’t so good. If they like to color, you can buy them some of those large coloring books and you can color together. Don’t forget the decorations and the flowers! Make the house or apartment as festive as possible. Even if they live in as assisted living community, you can still decorate their room to the nines! Make it as festive as possible! If you live in another state or can’t be close to your senior for Valentine’s Day, how about sending them a specially crafted care package. You can hand make some gifts, add some photos of family and friends, and send a personally recorded message. You can bake some homemade treats and incorporate some things that are of personal interest to them. This will show how much you care for them and make their Valentine’s Day extra special even if you can’t be with them.  There are so many ways to make Valentine’s Day special for seniors. Let’s not forget about them; make sure to show them they are so loved too!

February is National Heart Month

By Donna Nichols • February 4, 2025
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Hydration Tips for the Winter

By Donna Nichols • January 8, 2025
I’ve written many blogs about the importance of staying hydrated in the summer, but did you know it’s just as important to stay hydrated in the winter months? I’ve shared some important tips on how to stay hydrated in the winter and why. Cold, dry air can dehydrate you easily and quickly. Even if you don’t feel thirsty. Proper hydration can help regulate your body temperature, maintain healthy organ function, and prevent fatigue, dry skin, and headaches. In the colder months, you do not feel thirsty, that’s why it’s so important to make sure you drink plenty of water. Why is winter hydration so important? Colder air tends to be drier causing moisture to evaporate through your breathing which can cause dehydration. In colder weather, you may not feel as thirsty, causing you to become dehydrated quickly. Also, wearing more clothing traps sweat inside your clothing causing more fluid loss. What are some of the benefits of staying hydrated in the winter? • Drinking enough water helps keep your skin hydrated and prevents dryness. This will help with that dry, itchy skin feeling we all get in the winter. • Water helps your body maintain a regular core temperature. Which is so important to maintain in the winter. • Drinking plenty of water supports your immune system, which helps fight off winter colds and the flu. We all want to fight those germs off! • When you are dehydrated, you become tired easily, so drinking plenty of water helps keep your energy levels up. How do you stay hydrated in the winter? • Make sure you drink plenty of water. Set reminders if you must; you probably won’t feel as thirsty in the winter, but you need to keep drinking that water! • You don’t have to drink cold water; room temperature water works. You can also drink tea or water with lemon, as long as you’re getting your water. • If you’re going out, carry a water bottle with you to ensure you have water to drink. • Eat fruits and vegetables that contain water. Tomatoes, lettuce, strawberries, watermelon, cauliflower, mushrooms, cucumber, apples, and pineapple are just a few that contain high water contents. • If you think you’re dehydrated, check your urine; if it’s a darker color, that can suggest dehydration. Urine should be a pale, yellow color. As you can see, staying hydrated in the winter is just as important as staying hydrated in the summer, if not more. In the winter you don’t realize you are thirsty therefore you tend not to drink as much water as you should. This has the potential of wreaking havoc on your body. Please make sure you drink plenty of water in the wintertime as you do in the summertime. We have rebranded our company, we are now Assisted Senior Services! Call us for ANYTHING SENIOR!! 386-847-2322!
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