We’ve all seen items like this in the news where a public servant comes upon an elderly person and doesn’t realize they have dementia or Alzheimer’s and startles the person. This can lead to outrages which make the servant think they are being uncooperative and can lead to serious bodily injury to the elderly person.

There have also been times in restaurants when a spouse orders for the other one and the server gets agitated by this. You have to calmly state, that my spouse (or significant other) has Alzheimer’s and can’t order for him or herself. 

I know it’s sad, but people don’t understand and therefore don’t know how to approach someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s. We’ll look at some ways to, and not to, approach someone with Alzheimer’s or related dementia.

Please remember, the person with Alzheimer’s brain is damaged, so they don’t process information the way they used to. They can’t always remember who you are, so to them, chances are you are a stranger approaching them. Proceed with caution.

5 Tips on approaching someone with Alzheimer’s

  1. Make sure you always approach from the front , never from behind. We can all be startled when someone approaches us from behind, but with a person with Alzheimer’s or dementia, this can cause a flight or fight response and they may lash out at you.
  2. Approach them very slowly . Approaching too quickly can also cause a flight or fight response and this is never good for you or the elder person.
  3. Stand with your hands at your sides . Do not stand with your arms on your hips or crossed in front of you. This may look like you are being confrontational and this will cause them to shut down. Remember, their brain is not functioning like it used to so be patient.
  4. Don’t bend over them when talking or visiting. Pull up a chair or crouch down so you are at eye level or just below. You don’t want them to think you are trying to overpower them.
  5. Once they are comfortable with you and should you decide to go out to lunch or for a walk, offer your hand. Do not reach out and grab their arm or hand ; this again will cause the flight or fight response and you will lose any trust you have just earned. 

Hopefully, the tips above will help you when approaching a person with Alzheimer’s or related dementia. Should you feel you need more guidance, we at Assistance Living Made Simple hold five (5) Alzheimer’s caregiver support groups a month; check out the resources tab to find the one closest to you. 

Just please, remember one thing, the person with Alzheimer’s brain does NOT function like it used to; they do NOT remember like they used to; PLEASE be patient! We are here to help you; you do NOT have to go this alone!!

By Donna Nichols • November 9, 2026
When it comes to senior care, it’s easy to put off making decisions. Mom is still managing at home. Dad says he’s doing fine. Everyone is busy, and no one wants to bring up a subject that may feel uncomfortable. So, the conversation gets pushed to another day. Until something happens. A fall. A hospitalization. A sudden change in memory. A caregiver who can no longer keep up. Suddenly, the family isn’t simply exploring options; they need answers, and they need them quickly. Planning ahead doesn’t mean a move is happening tomorrow. It simply means being prepared. A Crisis Changes Everything When a senior care decision must be made during a crisis, families are often dealing with several things at once. There may be medical concerns, discharge deadlines, financial questions and different opinions among family members. At the same time, everyone is trying to determine what type of care is needed and where their loved one should go. That can turn an already emotional situation into an overwhelming one. When families begin the conversation earlier, they have something incredibly valuable: time . Time to learn. Time to ask questions. Time to compare options. And most importantly, time to include their loved one in the decision. More Time Means More Choices Waiting until care is urgently needed can sometimes limit the options available. The community a family prefers may not have an opening. The level of care needed may have changed. Financial arrangements may need to be made quickly. Families may find themselves choosing from what is available rather than what they would have chosen with more time. Planning ahead allows families to explore senior living communities, understand different levels of care and determine what matters most to their loved one. Does Mom want to stay close to her current neighborhood? Would Dad enjoy a community with lots of activities? Is medication management important? Will transportation be needed? What about future care if needs change? These questions are much easier to answer when no one is under pressure. Planning Ahead Can Help Protect Independence Sometimes families avoid discussing senior care because they worry it will make their loved one feel as though independence is being taken away. But planning ahead can do the opposite. When seniors are part of the conversation early, they have a greater opportunity to express what they want. They can talk about where they would prefer to live, what type of environment they would enjoy and what is most important to them. Waiting until a crisis may mean someone else has to make those decisions for them. The goal isn’t to take control away. It’s to give seniors as much control over their future as possible. Know the Options Before You Need Them You don’t need to tour every senior living community in town or make an immediate decision. Start small. Have a conversation. Learn what different levels of senior care provide. Get a general idea of costs. Talk about finances. Visit a community or two. Ask your loved one what they would want if their needs changed. You may not need that information for months—or even years. But if the day comes when something changes, you won’t be starting from scratch. The Best Decision Is an Informed Decision There is no perfect age or moment to begin talking about senior care. Every family and every situation is different. But there is a big difference between making a decision because you have to and making a decision because you’ve had time to understand your choices. At Assisted Senior Services , we help families explore senior living options before, during and after a change in care needs. Whether you're planning for the future or facing an unexpected situation today, you don't have to navigate all the choices alone. Starting the conversation now doesn't mean you're ready to make a change. It simply means you'll be ready if one comes.  Call us today for your FREE in-home assessment 386-847-2322.
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