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What You Should Not Say to Someone with Dementia

Donna Nichols • July 16, 2024

Have you ever said something to someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s and as it was coming out of your mouth you wished you could stop it? I know I have and would have given anything to take it back. That is because dementia is a disease of the brain that impairs your memory and judgment. It interferes with a person’s social skills, and thinking abilities, making it harder for them to function normally. Their brain does not process information like normal. Speaking to a person with dementia requires patience and the ability to know what not to say.

 

Here are some things you should never say to someone with Dementia.

 

⇨        Do you remember? When poised with this question, the person may get frustrated and angry because they can’t remember. This may cause irritation between you and them as you may not understand why they are so upset. They may try so hard to remember and begin to cry when they just can’t remember the time, place, or person to whom you are referring. So, please don’t ask an Alzheimer’s or Dementia person, do you remember?

 

⇨        That person died years ago. A person with dementia has no reality of time passing. To them “Uncle Joe” may have passed six years ago, but to them Uncle Joe is still alive and kicking. Sometimes, dementia patients can long for their parents, who have passed away many years ago, the best way to manage this situation is to ask them to tell you about their parents. Telling the patient their parents have passed away could cause more stress and anxiety.

 

⇨        You’re not right. Dementia patients say things they believe are true, in their heads these things happened. The most important thing is to NOT disagree with them. Most of the time what they are talking about has happened, but it was so long ago, you may have no idea it really happened.

 

⇨        Never argue with a dementia patient. Should someone with dementia become angry and unruly and start arguing with you, do NOT argue back, try to redirect the conversation off the subject onto something pleasant. The most important thing is to keep the patient calm and relaxed.

 

⇨        Talk simply. Never use complex sentences, you will only confuse the person. Use simple, everyday words, as if you are talking to a child. The brain of a dementia patient cannot process or comprehend complex sentences and once again, anxiety and frustration will become prevalent.

 

⇨        I told you. Never point out that they are wrong. As in “you’re not right” the patient feels what they’re talking about really happened and it probably did before your time. Let them have it as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

 

⇨        Questions about their past. Don’t ask a dementia patient questions about their past, they will become very anxious because they can’t remember. This leads to high stress levels and could cause friction between you and them. Instead, ask if they’d like to hear about your past and where you grew up, etc.

 

How do you have a successful conversation with a dementia patient? Go somewhere quiet without distractions, speak softly, quietly, and make eye contact. Speak in slow, short sentences, make sure you give them plenty of time to respond, remember, their brain takes longer to process. BE PATIENT!! Pay attention to your body language, use facial expressions and gestures to help with your point. Always stay in the present moment and stay positive! And, above all, BE PATIENT!!!

 

If you are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or a related dementia, we at Assisted Living Made Simple hold four Alzheimer’s caregiver support groups a month. They are designed to provide emotional, educational, and social support to those who are caring for someone with this debilitating disease. Please call our office for a location near you at 386-847-2322.

Make Valentine’s Day Special for Seniors

By Donna Nichols • February 5, 2025
Valentine’s Day tends to zero in on romantic love, but what about our seniors? They too often get forgotten. We have some ways to make Valentine’s Day special for them too. Spend the day with your loved one. Spending quality time with a loved one is more important to a senior than anything else. There is no greater gift than time and please make sure you have enough, so you are not rushed. Do your elderly loved one have a favorite meal? Perhaps you can prepare it for them, or if they are able, you can prepare it together. How fun would that be for you both? Be sure to discuss the enjoyment it brought you while you are sharing the meal together. How about a game of name that love song? You could prepare a playlist of love songs from the generation and play them to see how many they get correct. Or, if you can sing, you can sing some for them and see if they can recollect them. Take some time for reminiscing, go through old photo albums, or ask about old times. Ask them about when you were young and what trouble you caused; this will give you all something to laugh (or cry) about. Has your loved one been cooped up all winter? Take them out for a nice lunch, or weather permitting, a picnic in the park. Go for coffee and a donut, then head out to see a movie. Make a “date” of it. Maybe your senior is into crafts. You can design special Valentine’s Day cards for other family members. This way your senior can express their love for them and send it to them in their own unique way. You can create other greeting cards as well. Bake some special treats together. Does your senior have some favorite cookies or cake? You could bake it together, or you can bake it for them. Then you can enjoy it after you have the meal you prepared together. Yummy, delicious!! You can watch some romantic movies together if they prefer to stay in the house or the weather isn’t so good. If they like to color, you can buy them some of those large coloring books and you can color together. Don’t forget the decorations and the flowers! Make the house or apartment as festive as possible. Even if they live in as assisted living community, you can still decorate their room to the nines! Make it as festive as possible! If you live in another state or can’t be close to your senior for Valentine’s Day, how about sending them a specially crafted care package. You can hand make some gifts, add some photos of family and friends, and send a personally recorded message. You can bake some homemade treats and incorporate some things that are of personal interest to them. This will show how much you care for them and make their Valentine’s Day extra special even if you can’t be with them.  There are so many ways to make Valentine’s Day special for seniors. Let’s not forget about them; make sure to show them they are so loved too!

February is National Heart Month

By Donna Nichols • February 4, 2025
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Hydration Tips for the Winter

By Donna Nichols • January 8, 2025
I’ve written many blogs about the importance of staying hydrated in the summer, but did you know it’s just as important to stay hydrated in the winter months? I’ve shared some important tips on how to stay hydrated in the winter and why. Cold, dry air can dehydrate you easily and quickly. Even if you don’t feel thirsty. Proper hydration can help regulate your body temperature, maintain healthy organ function, and prevent fatigue, dry skin, and headaches. In the colder months, you do not feel thirsty, that’s why it’s so important to make sure you drink plenty of water. Why is winter hydration so important? Colder air tends to be drier causing moisture to evaporate through your breathing which can cause dehydration. In colder weather, you may not feel as thirsty, causing you to become dehydrated quickly. Also, wearing more clothing traps sweat inside your clothing causing more fluid loss. What are some of the benefits of staying hydrated in the winter? • Drinking enough water helps keep your skin hydrated and prevents dryness. This will help with that dry, itchy skin feeling we all get in the winter. • Water helps your body maintain a regular core temperature. Which is so important to maintain in the winter. • Drinking plenty of water supports your immune system, which helps fight off winter colds and the flu. We all want to fight those germs off! • When you are dehydrated, you become tired easily, so drinking plenty of water helps keep your energy levels up. How do you stay hydrated in the winter? • Make sure you drink plenty of water. Set reminders if you must; you probably won’t feel as thirsty in the winter, but you need to keep drinking that water! • You don’t have to drink cold water; room temperature water works. You can also drink tea or water with lemon, as long as you’re getting your water. • If you’re going out, carry a water bottle with you to ensure you have water to drink. • Eat fruits and vegetables that contain water. Tomatoes, lettuce, strawberries, watermelon, cauliflower, mushrooms, cucumber, apples, and pineapple are just a few that contain high water contents. • If you think you’re dehydrated, check your urine; if it’s a darker color, that can suggest dehydration. Urine should be a pale, yellow color. As you can see, staying hydrated in the winter is just as important as staying hydrated in the summer, if not more. In the winter you don’t realize you are thirsty therefore you tend not to drink as much water as you should. This has the potential of wreaking havoc on your body. Please make sure you drink plenty of water in the wintertime as you do in the summertime. We have rebranded our company, we are now Assisted Senior Services! Call us for ANYTHING SENIOR!! 386-847-2322!
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