You Can’t Parent Your Parent

Donna Nichols • March 25, 2021

You Can’t Parent Your Parent – Or Can You?

So, you think you can’t parent your parents no matter what, well think again.

The key to turning the tables is communication!

How exactly do you do this when they won’t listen?

First, remember it’s very hard for them to hear they can no longer do the things they used to. They are the ones who raised families, worked all their adulthood (some beginning in teenage years), ran businesses, carpools, and took care of YOU!

 Now you are taking care of them and it’s extremely difficult for them to deal with; it scares them!

To find out more about what scares them, read our blog titled, What are Seniors Top Fears ? You might be surprised what they’re afraid of.

There are ways to effectively communicate with them so they don’t feel like a child. Make sure you talk to them, not at them, don’t scold them, praise them. Have respect and consideration when speaking to your parents, this is new for you and them please don’t talk down to them.

Remember how it felt when someone spoke down to you as a child? This is how it makes them feel too! Please don’t do it.

You Can't Parent Your Parent...or can you?

Let’s say your mom can no longer drive. Instead of telling her, “Mom, you can’t drive anymore because you can’t see, end of story.” Turn the tables and say something like, “Mom, I really don’t want you driving anymore because I can’t sleep at night worrying about you. I’m afraid you might get into an accident, will you please stop driving for me?”

No one likes to be yelled at or spoken to harshly, but if your mom thinks she’s doing you harm, she’s more likely to give up driving.

Don’t think you know what’s best for your mom or dad either.

You probably have no idea what they really want. You may think your dad wants you to hire a lawn guy, but maybe that’s his only outlet and he enjoys it.

Always ask before you make any kind of decision on their behalf.

Perhaps your parents no longer want the hassle of the upkeep on the house, but you don’t want them to leave it and you’re not ready to move into it or sell. So, you say you’ll hire all these people to help them with everything under the sun.

What are you really doing?

You’re creating more expenses for them and they’re still not happy.

Instead, ask them what they want to do. Do they want to stay in the house? Do they want to move to a condo? Do they want to move into an assisted living community?

If they choose to move into an assisted living community, they can start off in independent living and transfer into assisted living as their needs increase.

Should they require even more care than assisted living; most communities also have memory care.

You will need to ensure you find the right community so they only move one time! This is extremely important, that’s why you need a placement service or senior advisor to assist you!

Moving can be very upsetting and Assisted Living Made Simple wants it to happen one time and one time only.

If you need help or encouragement as a Caregiver give us a call at  386-847-2322 or check out our  Caregiver Support Group. Our  Senior Advisors  are here to walk with you through this journey.
By Donna Nichols November 13, 2025
As Thanksgiving approaches, we’re reminded that gratitude isn’t just a holiday tradition — it’s a way of life. At Assisted Senior Services, we see it daily: in the quiet strength of caregivers, the wisdom of our seniors, and the small moments that make a big difference. We believe gratitude is more than a feeling. It’s a practice. A way of seeing the world, even in challenging times. For seniors, caregivers, and families, this season can stir a mix of emotions. There may be joy in gathering, but also grief, fatigue, or change. That’s why we hold space for all of it — and honor the quiet strength it takes to keep showing up with love. Gratitude doesn’t erase hardship, but it helps us carry it. It reminds us that even in uncertainty, there are still ordinary gifts: a warm hand to hold, a shared laugh, a moment of peace. Whether you’re caring for a loved one, navigating new challenges, or simply pausing to reflect, this season invites us to slow down and appreciate the ordinary gifts around us — a warm smile, a shared story, a helping hand. We are grateful for: • The families who trust us to walk alongside them, through transitions and triumphs. • The caregivers who show up with compassion and grace. • The caregivers who offer comfort, dignity, and patience every single day. • The seniors who teach us resilience, humor, and the value of every day – reminding us of what really matters. This Thanksgiving, we honor your journey. We celebrate your courage. And we’re here to support you — not just during the holidays, but all year long. So, whether your Thanksgiving is bustling or quiet, traditional or tender, we hope you find something to hold onto — and someone to hold it with. From all of us at Assisted Senior Services, thank you for being part of our community. We’re honored to support you, and we wish you a season filled with warmth, connection, and care. Happy Thanksgiving!
By Donna Nichols November 5, 2025
A Tender Season for Tender Hearts As the holidays approach, grief can feel especially sharp. The empty chair at the table, the missing voice in a favorite carol, the traditions once shared—all can stir deep memories and longing. This season, give yourself permission to feel it all. Whether you're lighting a candle in remembrance or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts, know that your love still lives at every moment you honor it. You're not alone in this. Many are walking through the holidays with tender hearts, and together, we can find comfort, connection, and peace. When Someone You Love Is Gone: Grief in Our Later Years As we grow older, we come to understand life in ways we never could when we were young. We learn what truly matters. We value time, quiet moments, and the people who’ve shared the journey with us. And sometimes, we find ourselves facing one of life’s most difficult truths: saying goodbye to someone we’ve loved for decades. Loss in our later years feels different, whether it’s a spouse, a sibling, a lifelong friend, or a partner in the everyday routines of life. It comes after a shared history, after raising families, building homes, facing hard times, and celebrating joys. When that kind of bond is broken, the world doesn’t just feel quieter. It feels unfamiliar. A Different Kind of Grief Grief in our senior years carries a certain weight. It’s not just about the person we’ve lost—it’s about the life we built with them—the morning coffee routines, the inside jokes no one else would understand, the hand we held through every season of life. It’s also about identity. Many lose someone they love and a part of who they were when they were with them. There’s no time limit to this kind of sorrow. Some days, we might feel strong and steady. Other days, a photograph or a familiar song can bring us to our knees. That’s the nature of deep love—it echoes. Quiet Spaces After a loss, the house can feel too big. The calendar is too empty. Conversations can feel lonelier without the one who always knew what to say—or when not to say anything. But it’s okay to feel those things. You’re not doing anything wrong if grief lingers. You’re not expected to "move on" in any set amount of time. Some losses become part of who we are. We carry the people we love with us—not just in memory but in the way we live—in the recipes we still make, the phrases we still say, and the stories we still tell. Finding Comfort, Bit by Bit There may come a day when you feel the sun again—not just on your skin, but in your spirit. A day when the laughter of grandchildren warms something inside you. When you speak your loved one’s name and smile instead of crying. These moments are not betrayals of your grief. They’re signs of your love still growing, still finding new ways to live in the world. You are allowed joy, rest, and the ability to miss them forever while still living a beautiful life. You’re Not Alone If you’re walking through grief now, take heart in knowing you’re not walking alone. In these later chapters of life, many of us are navigating the same path. And sometimes, just speaking their name or sharing a story over a cup of tea can make all the difference. Let others in. Join a group, call an old friend, or write down your thoughts. Sometimes, healing comes not from forgetting but from remembering—together. Because love doesn't end. Not with age. Not with time. Not even with death. It simply changes shape and stays with us, always. Assisted Senior Services hosts a grief support group on the first Wednesday of each month at All Saints Lutheran Church, 751 Dunlawton Ave., Port Orange, FL. The group begins at 5:00 p.m. Please join us should you need support; it is free to attend.
By Donna Nichols October 3, 2025
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