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You Can’t Parent Your Parent

Donna Nichols • March 25, 2021

You Can’t Parent Your Parent – Or Can You?

So, you think you can’t parent your parents no matter what, well think again.

The key to turning the tables is communication!

How exactly do you do this when they won’t listen?

First, remember it’s very hard for them to hear they can no longer do the things they used to. They are the ones who raised families, worked all their adulthood (some beginning in teenage years), ran businesses, carpools, and took care of YOU!

 Now you are taking care of them and it’s extremely difficult for them to deal with; it scares them!

To find out more about what scares them, read our blog titled, What are Seniors Top Fears ? You might be surprised what they’re afraid of.

There are ways to effectively communicate with them so they don’t feel like a child. Make sure you talk to them, not at them, don’t scold them, praise them. Have respect and consideration when speaking to your parents, this is new for you and them please don’t talk down to them.

Remember how it felt when someone spoke down to you as a child? This is how it makes them feel too! Please don’t do it.

You Can't Parent Your Parent...or can you?

Let’s say your mom can no longer drive. Instead of telling her, “Mom, you can’t drive anymore because you can’t see, end of story.” Turn the tables and say something like, “Mom, I really don’t want you driving anymore because I can’t sleep at night worrying about you. I’m afraid you might get into an accident, will you please stop driving for me?”

No one likes to be yelled at or spoken to harshly, but if your mom thinks she’s doing you harm, she’s more likely to give up driving.

Don’t think you know what’s best for your mom or dad either.

You probably have no idea what they really want. You may think your dad wants you to hire a lawn guy, but maybe that’s his only outlet and he enjoys it.

Always ask before you make any kind of decision on their behalf.

Perhaps your parents no longer want the hassle of the upkeep on the house, but you don’t want them to leave it and you’re not ready to move into it or sell. So, you say you’ll hire all these people to help them with everything under the sun.

What are you really doing?

You’re creating more expenses for them and they’re still not happy.

Instead, ask them what they want to do. Do they want to stay in the house? Do they want to move to a condo? Do they want to move into an assisted living community?

If they choose to move into an assisted living community, they can start off in independent living and transfer into assisted living as their needs increase.

Should they require even more care than assisted living; most communities also have memory care.

You will need to ensure you find the right community so they only move one time! This is extremely important, that’s why you need a placement service or senior advisor to assist you!

Moving can be very upsetting and Assisted Living Made Simple wants it to happen one time and one time only.

If you need help or encouragement as a Caregiver give us a call at  386-847-2322 or check out our  Caregiver Support Group. Our  Senior Advisors  are here to walk with you through this journey.

Make Valentine’s Day Special for Seniors

By Donna Nichols • February 5, 2025
Valentine’s Day tends to zero in on romantic love, but what about our seniors? They too often get forgotten. We have some ways to make Valentine’s Day special for them too. Spend the day with your loved one. Spending quality time with a loved one is more important to a senior than anything else. There is no greater gift than time and please make sure you have enough, so you are not rushed. Do your elderly loved one have a favorite meal? Perhaps you can prepare it for them, or if they are able, you can prepare it together. How fun would that be for you both? Be sure to discuss the enjoyment it brought you while you are sharing the meal together. How about a game of name that love song? You could prepare a playlist of love songs from the generation and play them to see how many they get correct. Or, if you can sing, you can sing some for them and see if they can recollect them. Take some time for reminiscing, go through old photo albums, or ask about old times. Ask them about when you were young and what trouble you caused; this will give you all something to laugh (or cry) about. Has your loved one been cooped up all winter? Take them out for a nice lunch, or weather permitting, a picnic in the park. Go for coffee and a donut, then head out to see a movie. Make a “date” of it. Maybe your senior is into crafts. You can design special Valentine’s Day cards for other family members. This way your senior can express their love for them and send it to them in their own unique way. You can create other greeting cards as well. Bake some special treats together. Does your senior have some favorite cookies or cake? You could bake it together, or you can bake it for them. Then you can enjoy it after you have the meal you prepared together. Yummy, delicious!! You can watch some romantic movies together if they prefer to stay in the house or the weather isn’t so good. If they like to color, you can buy them some of those large coloring books and you can color together. Don’t forget the decorations and the flowers! Make the house or apartment as festive as possible. Even if they live in as assisted living community, you can still decorate their room to the nines! Make it as festive as possible! If you live in another state or can’t be close to your senior for Valentine’s Day, how about sending them a specially crafted care package. You can hand make some gifts, add some photos of family and friends, and send a personally recorded message. You can bake some homemade treats and incorporate some things that are of personal interest to them. This will show how much you care for them and make their Valentine’s Day extra special even if you can’t be with them.  There are so many ways to make Valentine’s Day special for seniors. Let’s not forget about them; make sure to show them they are so loved too!

February is National Heart Month

By Donna Nichols • February 4, 2025
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Hydration Tips for the Winter

By Donna Nichols • January 8, 2025
I’ve written many blogs about the importance of staying hydrated in the summer, but did you know it’s just as important to stay hydrated in the winter months? I’ve shared some important tips on how to stay hydrated in the winter and why. Cold, dry air can dehydrate you easily and quickly. Even if you don’t feel thirsty. Proper hydration can help regulate your body temperature, maintain healthy organ function, and prevent fatigue, dry skin, and headaches. In the colder months, you do not feel thirsty, that’s why it’s so important to make sure you drink plenty of water. Why is winter hydration so important? Colder air tends to be drier causing moisture to evaporate through your breathing which can cause dehydration. In colder weather, you may not feel as thirsty, causing you to become dehydrated quickly. Also, wearing more clothing traps sweat inside your clothing causing more fluid loss. What are some of the benefits of staying hydrated in the winter? • Drinking enough water helps keep your skin hydrated and prevents dryness. This will help with that dry, itchy skin feeling we all get in the winter. • Water helps your body maintain a regular core temperature. Which is so important to maintain in the winter. • Drinking plenty of water supports your immune system, which helps fight off winter colds and the flu. We all want to fight those germs off! • When you are dehydrated, you become tired easily, so drinking plenty of water helps keep your energy levels up. How do you stay hydrated in the winter? • Make sure you drink plenty of water. Set reminders if you must; you probably won’t feel as thirsty in the winter, but you need to keep drinking that water! • You don’t have to drink cold water; room temperature water works. You can also drink tea or water with lemon, as long as you’re getting your water. • If you’re going out, carry a water bottle with you to ensure you have water to drink. • Eat fruits and vegetables that contain water. Tomatoes, lettuce, strawberries, watermelon, cauliflower, mushrooms, cucumber, apples, and pineapple are just a few that contain high water contents. • If you think you’re dehydrated, check your urine; if it’s a darker color, that can suggest dehydration. Urine should be a pale, yellow color. As you can see, staying hydrated in the winter is just as important as staying hydrated in the summer, if not more. In the winter you don’t realize you are thirsty therefore you tend not to drink as much water as you should. This has the potential of wreaking havoc on your body. Please make sure you drink plenty of water in the wintertime as you do in the summertime. We have rebranded our company, we are now Assisted Senior Services! Call us for ANYTHING SENIOR!! 386-847-2322!
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