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Caregiver Guilt – 5 Effective Ways To Deal With It

Donna Nichols • August 11, 2022

What is Caregiver Guilt?

Guilt is a feeling we get when we do something wrong or feel that we should have done something differently. When we are caring for someone, there are going to be times when we second-guess ourselves and our decisions. This is perfectly normal!

Caregiver guilt usually comes about when we compare our own abilities to care for someone to an idealized version of what a caregiver should be. This can be especially true if we are caring for a loved one and feel like we are falling short in some way.

If you answer YES to any of the following then chances are…you are dealing with caregiver guilt.

  1. Do you feel trapped?
  2. Are you resentful?
  3. Do you feel others are doing a better job?
  4. Do you wish it was over?

These are normal feelings and there is no reason to feel guilty. I know it’s easy for someone to say that, but it’s the truth.

If you find it too difficult to deal with, PLEASE check out one or all of our five caregiver groups throughout Volusia County. Or contact us today about the many assisted living communities that can help in caregiving. 

How to Deal With Caregiver Guilt?

Now that you know what caregiver guilt is and realize you have it, what do you do now? How do you get over it or past it?

There are a few things you can do to deal with caregiver guilt and the myths that come with it:

1. Admit that the guilt is real

First and foremost, you must be able to admit to yourself that the guilt exists, then you will be able to deal with it in a rational manner. Notice when you feel guilty and acknowledge those feelings. Example: I feel so bad I yelled at mom this morning, I’m just so exhausted. Noticing when and why the guilt comes on can help you understand why you feel guilty and overcome it.

2. Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Do you have unrealistic expectations of yourself? Setting your goals too high can lead to the guilt you feel and add to unnecessary stress on your mind and body. Thinking things like you should be able to take care of everything without feeling exhausted, or that you can never move your loved one to an assisted living community are just unrealistic.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they need help and they become drained. Don’t set unrealistic goals for yourself. Take it easy on yourself, caregiving is an extremely tiring job.

3. Comparing Yourself to Other Caregivers

Don’t compare your caregiving with someone else’s. You know the old saying, The grass is always greener? It may look that way on the outside, but inside that caregiver could be hurting just as much as you are and they don’t want you to think of them as failing. It may appear that they are better at coping with stress, finding resources, handling family life, and working, but you know very little. Nobody can do it all by themselves and there is no such thing as the perfect caregiver. Do NOT compare.

4. Find the Positive

Find positive ways of coping, such as writing in a journal, taking regular breaks, and exercising. These are good ways to improve your mood as well as help rid your mind of the guilt built up inside.

Think about all of the positive things that have come out of caring for your loved one. When you constantly dwell on the guilt, you tend to forget all the wonderful moments you have with your loved one and all the awesome things you have been able TO DO for them.

Focus on the positive and the negative will fade away.

5. Join a Group

Join a caregiver support group. It’s a great way to meet others who are feeling the same guilt you are and you will realize you are not alone. You can also benefit from the people in these groups by learning their techniques for coping with the guilt and stress of caregiving.

We at Assisted Living Made Simple hold five (5) caregiver support groups a month throughout Volusia County, please find one that fits your schedule and find the support you need.

You do NOT have to do this alone. We are here for you!

Make Valentine’s Day Special for Seniors

By Donna Nichols • February 5, 2025
Valentine’s Day tends to zero in on romantic love, but what about our seniors? They too often get forgotten. We have some ways to make Valentine’s Day special for them too. Spend the day with your loved one. Spending quality time with a loved one is more important to a senior than anything else. There is no greater gift than time and please make sure you have enough, so you are not rushed. Do your elderly loved one have a favorite meal? Perhaps you can prepare it for them, or if they are able, you can prepare it together. How fun would that be for you both? Be sure to discuss the enjoyment it brought you while you are sharing the meal together. How about a game of name that love song? You could prepare a playlist of love songs from the generation and play them to see how many they get correct. Or, if you can sing, you can sing some for them and see if they can recollect them. Take some time for reminiscing, go through old photo albums, or ask about old times. Ask them about when you were young and what trouble you caused; this will give you all something to laugh (or cry) about. Has your loved one been cooped up all winter? Take them out for a nice lunch, or weather permitting, a picnic in the park. Go for coffee and a donut, then head out to see a movie. Make a “date” of it. Maybe your senior is into crafts. You can design special Valentine’s Day cards for other family members. This way your senior can express their love for them and send it to them in their own unique way. You can create other greeting cards as well. Bake some special treats together. Does your senior have some favorite cookies or cake? You could bake it together, or you can bake it for them. Then you can enjoy it after you have the meal you prepared together. Yummy, delicious!! You can watch some romantic movies together if they prefer to stay in the house or the weather isn’t so good. If they like to color, you can buy them some of those large coloring books and you can color together. Don’t forget the decorations and the flowers! Make the house or apartment as festive as possible. Even if they live in as assisted living community, you can still decorate their room to the nines! Make it as festive as possible! If you live in another state or can’t be close to your senior for Valentine’s Day, how about sending them a specially crafted care package. You can hand make some gifts, add some photos of family and friends, and send a personally recorded message. You can bake some homemade treats and incorporate some things that are of personal interest to them. This will show how much you care for them and make their Valentine’s Day extra special even if you can’t be with them.  There are so many ways to make Valentine’s Day special for seniors. Let’s not forget about them; make sure to show them they are so loved too!

February is National Heart Month

By Donna Nichols • February 4, 2025
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Hydration Tips for the Winter

By Donna Nichols • January 8, 2025
I’ve written many blogs about the importance of staying hydrated in the summer, but did you know it’s just as important to stay hydrated in the winter months? I’ve shared some important tips on how to stay hydrated in the winter and why. Cold, dry air can dehydrate you easily and quickly. Even if you don’t feel thirsty. Proper hydration can help regulate your body temperature, maintain healthy organ function, and prevent fatigue, dry skin, and headaches. In the colder months, you do not feel thirsty, that’s why it’s so important to make sure you drink plenty of water. Why is winter hydration so important? Colder air tends to be drier causing moisture to evaporate through your breathing which can cause dehydration. In colder weather, you may not feel as thirsty, causing you to become dehydrated quickly. Also, wearing more clothing traps sweat inside your clothing causing more fluid loss. What are some of the benefits of staying hydrated in the winter? • Drinking enough water helps keep your skin hydrated and prevents dryness. This will help with that dry, itchy skin feeling we all get in the winter. • Water helps your body maintain a regular core temperature. Which is so important to maintain in the winter. • Drinking plenty of water supports your immune system, which helps fight off winter colds and the flu. We all want to fight those germs off! • When you are dehydrated, you become tired easily, so drinking plenty of water helps keep your energy levels up. How do you stay hydrated in the winter? • Make sure you drink plenty of water. Set reminders if you must; you probably won’t feel as thirsty in the winter, but you need to keep drinking that water! • You don’t have to drink cold water; room temperature water works. You can also drink tea or water with lemon, as long as you’re getting your water. • If you’re going out, carry a water bottle with you to ensure you have water to drink. • Eat fruits and vegetables that contain water. Tomatoes, lettuce, strawberries, watermelon, cauliflower, mushrooms, cucumber, apples, and pineapple are just a few that contain high water contents. • If you think you’re dehydrated, check your urine; if it’s a darker color, that can suggest dehydration. Urine should be a pale, yellow color. As you can see, staying hydrated in the winter is just as important as staying hydrated in the summer, if not more. In the winter you don’t realize you are thirsty therefore you tend not to drink as much water as you should. This has the potential of wreaking havoc on your body. Please make sure you drink plenty of water in the wintertime as you do in the summertime. We have rebranded our company, we are now Assisted Senior Services! Call us for ANYTHING SENIOR!! 386-847-2322!
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