Top 3 Caregiver Guilt Myths

Donna Nichols • August 4, 2022

Are you caring for a loved one or a friend and sometimes think you’re not doing a good enough job?

This is a very common feeling and everyone feels this guilt at some point in time. There is nothing wrong with you, it is completely normal to have these feelings and break down every now and then.

We will take a look at some of the common caregiver guilt myths and how to deal with them in order to help you overcome some of the guilt you may feel.

We also hold five (5) Alzheimer’s/Dementia caregiver support groups a month; please check our resources page for the location nearest to you, https://almsnsb.com/resources/  

Myth #1 – You’re Not Doing Enough

Do you ever tell yourself you should do more for the person you are caring for? That you should be assisting them every moment of every day? That nothing is more important than caring for them?

Stop telling yourself this!! The care you are providing is EXCELLENT and it is the best you can do. Do NOT let anyone convince you otherwise. You NEED to take time for yourself, or there could be damaging health consequences to your own health. Then who would take care of your loved one?

Caregiver Burnout is real and it is okay for you to bring in help and go for a walk, to the movies, out to dinner, or whatever you like to do for a little while. In fact, it is recommended!!

Myth #2 – Why is my loved one not improving?

→ How about this one: If I was a good caregiver, my loved one would be improving physically and mentally. Wrong!!

Yes, sometimes improvements can be made, but the truth of the matter is that your loved one is aging. With aging comes declination in the ability to function physically and sometimes mentally. Some seniors have underlying health conditions that cause further declination as well. Nothing you can do will reverse the process, so stop stressing over it and beating yourself up!!

Myth #3 – I made a bad decision

→ Here’s another good myth: If I had made a better decision, things wouldn’t be going so badly. What does that even mean?!?!?

How could you have possibly known what the outcome of your decision would have been?

You made the best decision based on the information you had at that time. Stop beating yourself up, there’s no way you can see into the future and predict the outcome would have been any different if you had chosen a different course of action. Learn from the mistake and do everything possible to avoid making it again.

Don’t let caregiver guilt get the better of you; you are doing everything you can.

I cannot reiterate enough how important it is to take time for yourself! This is so important to your overall health; PLEASE make time for yourself during this difficult stage. Things are hard enough without you making them harder.

Also, needing help is nothing to be ashamed of!

We all need help sometimes; if you find you just can’t cope anymore and think you are alone in this journey, please know that is NOT the case.

Come to one of our local support groups; you won’t believe how much better you will feel just knowing there are so many others going through the exact same things you are going through and you may even learn some pointers on how to deal with your situation better.

PLEASE reach out to us for assistance! You are NOT alone!!

By Donna Nichols November 13, 2025
As Thanksgiving approaches, we’re reminded that gratitude isn’t just a holiday tradition — it’s a way of life. At Assisted Senior Services, we see it daily: in the quiet strength of caregivers, the wisdom of our seniors, and the small moments that make a big difference. We believe gratitude is more than a feeling. It’s a practice. A way of seeing the world, even in challenging times. For seniors, caregivers, and families, this season can stir a mix of emotions. There may be joy in gathering, but also grief, fatigue, or change. That’s why we hold space for all of it — and honor the quiet strength it takes to keep showing up with love. Gratitude doesn’t erase hardship, but it helps us carry it. It reminds us that even in uncertainty, there are still ordinary gifts: a warm hand to hold, a shared laugh, a moment of peace. Whether you’re caring for a loved one, navigating new challenges, or simply pausing to reflect, this season invites us to slow down and appreciate the ordinary gifts around us — a warm smile, a shared story, a helping hand. We are grateful for: • The families who trust us to walk alongside them, through transitions and triumphs. • The caregivers who show up with compassion and grace. • The caregivers who offer comfort, dignity, and patience every single day. • The seniors who teach us resilience, humor, and the value of every day – reminding us of what really matters. This Thanksgiving, we honor your journey. We celebrate your courage. And we’re here to support you — not just during the holidays, but all year long. So, whether your Thanksgiving is bustling or quiet, traditional or tender, we hope you find something to hold onto — and someone to hold it with. From all of us at Assisted Senior Services, thank you for being part of our community. We’re honored to support you, and we wish you a season filled with warmth, connection, and care. Happy Thanksgiving!
By Donna Nichols November 5, 2025
A Tender Season for Tender Hearts As the holidays approach, grief can feel especially sharp. The empty chair at the table, the missing voice in a favorite carol, the traditions once shared—all can stir deep memories and longing. This season, give yourself permission to feel it all. Whether you're lighting a candle in remembrance or simply sitting quietly with your thoughts, know that your love still lives at every moment you honor it. You're not alone in this. Many are walking through the holidays with tender hearts, and together, we can find comfort, connection, and peace. When Someone You Love Is Gone: Grief in Our Later Years As we grow older, we come to understand life in ways we never could when we were young. We learn what truly matters. We value time, quiet moments, and the people who’ve shared the journey with us. And sometimes, we find ourselves facing one of life’s most difficult truths: saying goodbye to someone we’ve loved for decades. Loss in our later years feels different, whether it’s a spouse, a sibling, a lifelong friend, or a partner in the everyday routines of life. It comes after a shared history, after raising families, building homes, facing hard times, and celebrating joys. When that kind of bond is broken, the world doesn’t just feel quieter. It feels unfamiliar. A Different Kind of Grief Grief in our senior years carries a certain weight. It’s not just about the person we’ve lost—it’s about the life we built with them—the morning coffee routines, the inside jokes no one else would understand, the hand we held through every season of life. It’s also about identity. Many lose someone they love and a part of who they were when they were with them. There’s no time limit to this kind of sorrow. Some days, we might feel strong and steady. Other days, a photograph or a familiar song can bring us to our knees. That’s the nature of deep love—it echoes. Quiet Spaces After a loss, the house can feel too big. The calendar is too empty. Conversations can feel lonelier without the one who always knew what to say—or when not to say anything. But it’s okay to feel those things. You’re not doing anything wrong if grief lingers. You’re not expected to "move on" in any set amount of time. Some losses become part of who we are. We carry the people we love with us—not just in memory but in the way we live—in the recipes we still make, the phrases we still say, and the stories we still tell. Finding Comfort, Bit by Bit There may come a day when you feel the sun again—not just on your skin, but in your spirit. A day when the laughter of grandchildren warms something inside you. When you speak your loved one’s name and smile instead of crying. These moments are not betrayals of your grief. They’re signs of your love still growing, still finding new ways to live in the world. You are allowed joy, rest, and the ability to miss them forever while still living a beautiful life. You’re Not Alone If you’re walking through grief now, take heart in knowing you’re not walking alone. In these later chapters of life, many of us are navigating the same path. And sometimes, just speaking their name or sharing a story over a cup of tea can make all the difference. Let others in. Join a group, call an old friend, or write down your thoughts. Sometimes, healing comes not from forgetting but from remembering—together. Because love doesn't end. Not with age. Not with time. Not even with death. It simply changes shape and stays with us, always. Assisted Senior Services hosts a grief support group on the first Wednesday of each month at All Saints Lutheran Church, 751 Dunlawton Ave., Port Orange, FL. The group begins at 5:00 p.m. Please join us should you need support; it is free to attend.
By Donna Nichols October 3, 2025
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